Hoping to Return to Familiar Footing.

by Petia PapazovaWhy the silence?

I usually am never at a loss for words. Place me in a situation where I would need to make new friends/acquaintances, I would come out with not just one but two or more new friends. But this time, I was lost. It felt like blogging was a forced ritual for me. It was sad, because this is therapy for me.

What changed now? Something you would probably ask; I guess it was a multitude of things happening in my life.

It’s been a year and more since I started this blog. It lead me to greater paths and I believe, a much stronger person. Somehow though, you have to go through any form of silence to come to terms with what’s in front of you.

Like I mentioned earlier, it was a number of reasons which lead me to my abrupt break. It was really not just about the ex coming back– it was also trying to cope with who I was becoming and changing into. I thought I was done with change, but change is never really over with anything at all. I’m at a loss of where I actually want to be in my life. I know what I want for my future, but I feel scared that every step I take seems to be taking me further away from it. It’s as if I was starting to get scared of taking risks when I never really was before.

If you must know, the ex and I are not back together. Upon getting to know each other again, we both realized that we still need to fix a lot of things with ourselves. It’s no longer a priority to be with someone, but to actually be happy and satisfied with just our own self. So we still see each other, but we have a more important agenda, if you will, to work on. Love of a partner is less important than Love of Self.

With everything I have learned recently, I realized that it’s the mindset that I have that limits me from achieving great things. It’s what stops me from moving on– from pushing myself beyond the boundaries. It could be a result from my upbringing, experiences and environment that I was exposed to. I have to stop it now.

I guess, this blog still fits the theme. Everyday is a renewal of the past. To face the future, one must be aware of the risks, changes and unusual events that will come their way. Why not? Everyone wants a new beginning. It just has to start with you, me, and everyone else.

Day 248: My Love Affair with Blogging

Before anything else, I’ve added a new page! It will focus on the trips I’ve gone on for the past year, and maybe the years to follow too. Please check out the trips page, and hopefully it can help you when you do want to go and visit the places I’ve been to!:)

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Pen and Paper
Traditional Writing: Pen and Paper via hayleymelissa.com

I’ve racked my brain and heart in finding the right inspiration for my next post here on 365. I know there are so many topics I could blog about, but to find a certain topic that I am ready and would love to write about is a bit difficult. As many of you know, I write every other two weeks or so. I find that blogging or writing for me can be a bit of a struggle. I am an aspiring blogger/writer/whatever you call it, but I am not one of those talented writers/bloggers that can write/blog about anything under the sun with just a snap of a finger. Shakespeare, Virginia Woolf, and Jane Austen; I am definitely not.

I do envy them somehow, and wish I could be more like that.

Continue reading “Day 248: My Love Affair with Blogging”