When a person gets out of a relationship, they suddenly realize that they were dumped with a lot of time on their hands. They keep on wishing that time was fast-forwarded to the future, when they would no longer think of what to do with all the ample time on their hands. I distinctly remember feeling that way, and I’m sure a lot of you could relate as well.
Well, I got my wish! Without realizing it, my weekends are booked till Lord knows when, and my weekdays are thrown into work-related activities. I cannot even begin to fathom how I got myself into this schedule. Well, I lie. Of course I know how I got myself into this. I wanted to forget and not pine for him. The Lord is extremely kind, because everything has fallen into place. Everything is a bit easier now.
I can’t help but want to rest as well though. Sometimes, I find myself emotionally and physically so tired from all the activities I make myself do, because just one moment that I give myself to think… I find everything going.. KABOOM! (Apology inserted here) My extreme apologies to family and friends that I’ve promised for certain activities, and ended up being a no-show. It’s not intended, I promise. I can prove that my 27-year-old body is no longer the same as my 22-year-old body. I get tired. 🙂
So moving on and forward to the coming months, next thing I know, this blog would have reached a year already! I’ve realized that aside from making myself busy with the people I love, I’ve also pushed myself into things I normally wouldn’t have done a year ago. I am starting a business with my friends, going out of the country, going to a province I haven’t been in the Philippines, started exercising again… If this isn’t getting to know myself, then I really don’t know what is. I’ve also opened myself up to more people, considered meeting new people and just being a better person.
I don’t want to be numb anymore. I’ve been numb for a couple of months already, and I think, it’s about time that I say, “Enough is enough.” It’s never going to go away, this love that I have for him, but I think I need to stop letting people who have bad intentions near me, and it’s sad that he’s a part of that group. So goodbye to those who pretend to be friends but they actually just need things, goodbye to those who want to be friends just to know more news, and goodbye to people who think I’m an easy catch since I’m in a vulnerable state.
I deserve better, I know that I deserve to be happy. I’m no longer letting anyone get in my way to stop me from being so.